you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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