oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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