So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
