I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
