This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
There's always time for handjobs
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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