WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
