that's an acceptable place to lick
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Just puked most of my soul out..
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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