I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
