who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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