I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
