WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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