so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
You need a sexual gate keeper
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
