He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
