Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize