You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
