A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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