You work out of a Hotel?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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