his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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