I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
