is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I'm sobbing to NWA
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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