i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
