question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
