East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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