dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
