Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
