great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
