I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
