I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
