Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
