I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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