If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
