I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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