If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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