I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
worst night to have a conscience
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
