You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Pooping to opera.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize