East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
