so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
