Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
