Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
