Sponge bath it is.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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