So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
