No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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