I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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