i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
