Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
