Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i think my mom watched the whole time
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
