Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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