First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I got inside last night via doggy door
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize