remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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