I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
operation harelip BJ is a go
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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