He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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