I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
