Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
