Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
