i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
My feet surprised me
Randomize
