ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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