On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
