just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Randomize
