How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
