Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
