I wannas sexs uuuuu
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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